E-portfolio: Waipara writing

Describe It - Camp Experiences

Learning Objectives:

Level 3

• Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Level 4.

• Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Learning goals:

• To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths
• Edit and rework
• Effective peer checking and feedback

Stomping, group 5 was running to the third pole.  As it gets closer and closer to the pole the rope gets higher and higher.  Although I was 30 metres high I still enjoyed looking at the tall palm trees.
The hard tight rope tried to choke me, I try my best to pull it away because it got tighter and tighter when it got closer to the third pole.


3,2,1 go! He pulled the rope and I flew as fast as a bird.  Swoosh!!! The cold wind rushing past my face.  Goosebumps came to my shaky legs.  Starting to breathe faster and faster.  AHHHH I screamed as I float but I wondered if I will swing forever.

Student Reflection In my writing, one of my goals is to attempt complex punctuation. I did/did not show this goal here because I did not do good on this one because I did not focus on it  enough. In my writing, one of my goals is spell most words correctly. I did/did not show this goal here because I showed this goal because every word in the story are correct. My next step is to not use to much ''I'' because there is a lot and gets boring. Teacher Comment: Naoki, I like the way that you have included complex punctuation to add excitement to your writing. You were able to create suspense with your use of short and long sentences. Your next step is to make sure your sentences link and your ideas flow. Miss Hurley.